// How Papa met Baba
04 May 2019

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Summary: Zi Hao and Ji Hao ask their Papa how he met their Baba one night, and he tells them the most unusual love story in the history of Tianji.

Zi Hao and Ji Hao were well behaved four year olds, but Ji particularly was very inquisitive about everything. This could be extremely awkward, such as when the twins walked in on Jian Bin and his husband having horizontal sexy time at their secret revendous point, and immediately asked the most embarrassing question of all time. “Papa, why was Ba on top of you all sweaty, like when he comes back from military training and did a lot of running? Zheng says his Mama and Baba look like that after they have- mphhh”, Ji said before the little angel Zi Hao put his hand over his brothers flapping mouth. Consort Qi had chuckled nervously, running behind the screen to fix his pants and outer robe, then dash out the room, leaving the King to the mercy of two curious children. He tried every trick in parenting manuals, wrestling with daddy, massages and cleaning up, but had to attempt to make the real reason more kid friendly when they just looked at him with blatant disbelief. “Papa and Baba have to uhm.. have some adult time sometimes, and you shouldn’t know what happens during adult time. End of story, Papa needs to get dressed. Minister Feng please come and enrtain the Princes for a minute or two!”, he yelled weakly, holding up the sheets like his life depended on it. Minister Feng arrived with Finance minister Wang, and each of them picked up a twin, carrying them to the playroom on the opposite side of the courtyard to give the poor King some peace.

Another common question for three to five year olds was how their parents fell in love, and the Consort’s little genius, Ji Hao, again was the curious child asking the question. This happened in the bathroom during the twins much needed bath, but their Papa was mentally prepared after the terrible sex question, and it helped a lot that their love story was quite child friendly and didn’t need a lot of censorship. He finished washing Zi Hao’s hair and started on Ji Hao’s slightly more messy hair, “When you become a King, people try to hurt you occasionally, but your Baba was ordered to protect me by my father and that’s what he did. After a few years, I realised that I loved him more than a bodyguard and General,as a lover and partener. This was a secret to start with as most people didn’t think too well of two men being together, and it wasn’t until I nearly died from an assassin’s poisoned arrow that I decided to just tell him, in case I died and never got to confess what I truly felt for him.”, he said thoughtfully. Zi frowned and Ji looked sad, surprised at how their Papa had such a stressful life.

They soon perked up when Jian Bin continued the story, leaving them to soak in the water for a little longer. “Baba was confused, and I think he tried to relax himself he wasn’t good enough for me, that idiot. We floated apart for a short period which was really depressing for both of us, and in that time, there was a war ongoing, and as the King, I had to oversee the main command. It may sound repetitive, but your Baba finally came out with a confession after that fight, because he nearly lost me again from blood loss, and that time, he felt the need to say what he felt like I did before him. Then we were boyfriends and lovers, what we’d both wanted secretly.”, he explained happily, and even Zi Hao smiled at the fluffy end. He had never been asked to tell his love story before, but it was actually quite enjoyable, reliving sweet memories, so nice he almost forgot Zi Hao and Ji Hao sitting in the near cold bath. Picking them out and pulling fleece robes around them tightly, the King led his two sons by the hand to their bedroom, the old nursery with beds instead of the cribs from when they were babies.

The Consort was worried, his wife and kids were not back from the bathroom, and it was the time they all had bedtime cuddles and stories. His anxiety was lifted in an instant as Jian Bin, Zi Hao and Ji Hao walked in, dressed in night wear and yawning a little. “Why are the boys so quiet, did Papa slip something in your food kids?”, he joked good naturedly. To his suprise, his wife didn’t playfully slap him, but smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips, something only for their private time. “Xiao Qi, I was telling Zi and Ji how we fell in love, they asked during their bath. They suddenly went quiet, should we tell them the rest of the story together? You want that boys, the final conclusion of how we had you two?”, he asked cheerily. Zi nodded and his brother bounced up and down on his bed, and they took that as a yes. “We stayed lovers for a year, till your Papa overworked himself and we went on the first vacation as a couple, where we only fell further in love. When we got back, Uncle Ming, Aunt Li, Uncle Gongsun, Uncle Qui and Uncle Ling worked us out of a minor relationship slump, which resulted in me marrying Papa. We didn’t tell everyone but it felt great, and nothing else mattered.”, their Baba continued to say.

Ji Hao sat on his bed with a look of utter amazement, and Zi Hao Just looked unimpressed with the world, like usual for the poker faced boy. “Ba, Pa, how were we born, Papa isn’t a girl, so doesn’t that mean he can’t have children like Hao Mei’s Mama in the town?, he burst out abruptly. Jian Bin sighed, and took the awkward part himself, knowing his dumb husband would only further complicate and worsen the matter. “I really wanted kids, so your Baba found some kind of medicine to make me able to carry children like Hao Mei’s Mama does. We still don’t know exactly how, but all that is important is you two were born after nine months of a truly life changing experience, it just made you two extra special to us. Never mind if people tease you for having two Baba’s, there is also the King and Empress of Tianquan with their four children like us. We have a happy little family now, and we hope that will never change, okay boys?”, he ended lovingly. The two boys have wide smiles, and told their Baba he was a jerk for not accepting their Papa’s feelings at first, then yawned loudly. The King and Consort gave their little Princes goodnight kisses like normal, and left the silently, little snores gradually filling the room.

“I was a very dumb idiot for not accepting your confession back then Xiao Bin, and the boys will probably glare at me for a few days because they saw it how it was, the actions of a jerk ignoring his own feelings. Now my only regret is not starting this lifestyle sooner, with my little family and peaceful country. I love you Bin Bin.”, the Consort whispered, gently licking his wife’s ear. Jian Bin shuddered and pinned his husband to the nearest wall, a rather rare display of dominance. “I know you bought more herbs on the twins’ last birthday, Feng and Wang told me, so lets make another baby. A sibling and more babies is good, so is making one, why not now?”, he growled in a low seductive tone.It goes without saying that they did indeed make another baby that night, and the twins were overjoyed to hear they would be getting a sibling to play with, but that is yet another story for yet another time.

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