// Stop Playing With My Heart
09 Jul 2019

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It’s angsty this time…. Or I’ve tried to write angsty anyway

Evan should have known that Wayne was cheating on him from the start, when he stopped coming home every night and went to a club his friends didn’t know the location of, but love was stupid. He should have always doubted his ex, who seemed just a bit too good at charming the socks off people and was rumoured to have flings since high school. Love made him blind and hurt when it was supposed to be healing, until he met the right one.

Logic eventually opened his eyes to reality, it injured his confidence to admit that he didn’t foresee the faults in the relationship when he was one of the two in it.

It started to go wrong with the club. Instead of cooking in the evening together or going out, a certain Mr Huang started frequenting a club in the elite district of Taiwan, one they usually avoided because of the prejudice the common customers gave them the one time they went in to have a change of bar, for being gay and public about it. Although it wasn’t the first time Evan faced discrimination, most people usually told him that he was wasting his time being with a man when he had a strong position at his job, good genetics and a splendid amount of intelligence for a man his age, but he ignored it. The fact that he was not alone was more than enough to banish any traces of doubt he had when he came out as liking men. Years ago they decided to never go again, so why was Wayne going so much?

Unless he was having a fling with a rich woman there, he would not go back, but that bug called misplaced loyalty said that his boyfriend would never think of anything like that. Therefore he continued putting everything he had into their relationship. Something he later regarded as a mistake when he could not even walk round the house or go out without thinking about his cheating ex without seeing memories that pained his heart and doubt his own sense of judgement.

Whether it was Wayne slipping up and not being careful to hide the traces of his not to secret affair, or Evan got too nosy for his own emotional wellbeing, there was a new reason to look at a single future. Doing the washing, the lipstick marks and heavy scent of sweet, floral perfume on his discarded shirts, finally proved that the older man was being unfaithful and also being unfaithful with a woman. It wasn’t that the Canadian had any prejudice against women, they were lovely and kind most of the time, like his mother at home and sisters, but they had confessed that each man was completely sexually into males before Evan let him date him. Why would he change his mind now? Was their relationship really as fruitless as it was said to be, and boring sexually without a woman to sex up. Just thinking that hurt his heart more than a thousand knives, as he sorted through the laundry of betrayal and put it in the machine to try and clean the lipstick and perfume from the load.

He did realise that it could never remove the stains of cheating from their long relationship though, even time was unable to do that, or heal his broken heart.

When he confronted his cheating boyfriend, what hurt the most was that Wayne just admitted to getting bored with him, and found a rich younger woman at the club. He said she had given him so many gifts and intimacy, all he could do now was devote himself to her completely, and walked out the door with a suitcase of important items. The only thing he could say to Evan in the end was goodbye, no sorry or good luck. He broke down in the doorway, seeing a very important person walk out of his life, and cried for what he should do next.

The night after Wayne left, taking a piece of the one he used to fool into unconditional love, and leaving an empty man in his place. Evan found himself bombarded by reminders of his now ex boyfriend, cooking made him think of all the times he laboured to cook delicious food that just went in the bin after Wayne never came home for the night, sleeping was a cause of loneliness after co-sleeping for a long time, and the new place of comfort became a brand new bar in a local backstreet. There he met many men, that appeared as life did now, better with plenty of alcohol in his system, and tried each one to be his new boyfriend,

No one fitted the criteria, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to risk finding and believing another bastard like the last one. He was thinking of Wayne more than when he lived with him lately, of how much he hated him for doing what he had done.

“You know kid, I’ve seen you sleep around and try out every lad in this place, but you still want more. Let me advise you now, stop and work out what you want before it’s too late.”, one patron told him, after they had cleaned up and were resting before leaving.

Evan glanced whimsically, taking a good look at the coarse beard and slender face of the man.
” I just want to not be alone at night, it’s been too long since I’ve slept well without some shots or some beers. Wayne used to be so warm in bed, our bed did not ever need blankets because his love kept me cosy.”, he replied, words slurred by alcohol.”

The man frowned, “Kid, what you need isn’t company each night with a different stranger. What’s in here, he pointed to his heart,” to be sated, not your sex drive. Don’t come back here until whatever heartbreak is healed, then move on properly. ”

Evan stayed at home after that, remembering that when he still looked at the situation logically, a long time ago judging by his sunken abdomen and sore ass, he realised that before he closed his emotions off, what he felt was heartache.

[Okay. So I’m stuck for the pairing on this, do Evan X Ian like I usually do, or someone different because this is a completely different type of story line. Suggestions welcome as to who should be Mr right for poor cheated Evan ( ˘ ³˘)♥]

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